An Imperfect Love Story

Dear Friends,   In honor of our forty years (almost 41) of marriage, I am reposting part of our story. I hope it encourages you.

Where it all began

He saw her across the gymnasium – a petite girl with long golden brown hair.  His science fair project was about Bridges and hers was on the Human Body.  He finally got up the nerve to speak to her and bought her a Coke.  A few years later they attended their Junior and Senior proms together but were heading to different states for college.

Throughout the college years many hours were spent on dorm hallway phones and almost daily letters sent back and forth. Summers and holidays they happily reunited and by their senior year they began planning a future together. He was studying to be a Civil Engineer and her degree was in Nursing – funny how their early interests would become their careers.

Plans delayed

Her senior year of college she developed some odd symptoms and became very ill. Graduation was followed by a trip to the hospital for tests and back later for major surgery.  He sat by her bedside praying while she recovered in the ICU. What was God doing?  They postponed the wedding even though she wrestled with God over that. She realized her fiancee had proven his faithfulness “in sickness and health”! Their bond only strengthened as they thanked God for healing and chose to keep Him in the middle of every day – good days and bad.  Their wedding verse;

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.        Psalms 118:24

After the wedding they began their happily ever after and saved to buy a house. Three children came along one right after the other, a girl and two boys. Their lives took a different path when child #2 was born with cognitive and physical disabilities. Those early years included open heart surgery for that little one and casts on club feet.  Doctor visits and seeing therapists became the new normal. The now mother of three continued to have her own medical issues and their daughter had some learning disabilities. Challenging? Yes but nothing is impossible with God.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future.  Jer 29:11

 Life was good just different because there are added concerns and some limitations when a family member has a disability. But days were filled with school, sports, church activities, celebrations and vacations just like everyone else. Most importantly they made life-long friendships.

Love and a solid faith in God along with a lot support from family and friends helped them overcome and in turn reach out.  They became involved with family and marriage ministry to help others. Communication and commitment was necessary while quitting was NOT an option. The couple also became involved with disability ministries like Special Olympics and Joni and Friends while serving in their local church.

They learned that every day is an opportunity for grace with communication being the key. Apologies are often necessary. They would laugh or make a joke about something else going wrong. Laughter does help make the burdens lighter!

The story continues

After 40+ years this couple still celebrates with gratitude for how God has provided. They have met some amazing people and traveled to places they never dreamed possible. Their story is far from over as they are planning for the future and retirement. Their parents are gone and the children are grown with their own careers. The son with disabilities is doing well. There were many more challenges as well as great stories through those years. Life can be like riding a roller coaster. Like anyone else they have arguments and misunderstandings but at the end of every day find security and comfort in each others’ arms.  Life is not perfect but good. What advice would they give you this Valentine’s Day?

Set priorities: God first, Spouse (before self) then Family and everything else

Laugh – A little bit (or a lot) of humor  helps along the way!

Listening well helps avoid misunderstanding

Trust God is in control even when life seems out of control.

During the hardest times of life – PRAY MORE – God will give you the peace and strength to not only endure but to excel when you trust in Him.

Loving one another requires patience, over-looking faults and compassion.

Teach your children well.

Always kiss good night.

Review your own imperfect love story and have a blessed Valentine’s Day.