Tag: memories

Family, Relationships

The Blessings of Extended Family

by securelyanchored2 Comments on The Blessings of Extended Family
The Blessings of Extended Family

Did you have the privilege of knowing your grandparents well? I lived over a thousand miles away from my paternal grandparents. But one week out of the summer we packed into the family station wagon and made the long journey to Wisconsin to see my dads’ relatives. My parents drove in shifts to get there in less than 24 hours while we slept. They would be exhausted but we kids were ready to play. (not my family photo but could be)

While we were visiting, we would gather together with all of my dads’ relatives at one of my aunt and uncles’ houses. They had 9 kids themselves and there were 25 grandchildren when we were altogether plus all of my dads’ adult siblings, spouses and his cousins that would come to see us. It was a huge reunion to say the least. Everyone brought some food to share so there was quite a wide variety. Grandpa would ask a blessing on the food and everyone present before we were allowed to eat. My cousins lived near a farm so we kids would play hide and seek in the cornfields which was exciting for a suburban girl. None of my relatives were wealthy but I have great memories spending time with my long distance family where there was lots of love, laughter and story telling.

When my children were young we would go to my inlaws cottage for summer fun. Extended family from all sides would come and bring food to share. All the cousins got to use their imaginations while playing outside with lots of new “friends” and things to do. There were some unwritten boundaries for the adults’ communication as we tried to steer clear of arguments about politics and religion. Big parties are a lot of work in preparation and cleaning up but the memories are priceless.

Psalm 127:3–5 (The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language)
Don’t you see that children are GOD’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Proverbs 17:6 (ESV)
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

Ecclesiastes 2:24–25 (ESV) There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?

People have gathered to celebrate feasts/ holidays and special ceremonies as an extended family for millenia. The Bible tells us very little about Jesus’ childhood but we know he would have celebrated all of the Jewish feasts with his family and relatives. Today however, two great foes of the modern family are divorce and migration. We no longer live in a continuous circle of life together in the same communities.

How can you encourage family time and extended family time? Some practical suggestions : Relationships can be prickly so boundaries are important. Shoot for quality over quantity because cranky kids are not fun. Choose a general place if you don’t have space (or don’t want to or can’t host) such as a park, zoo, museum etc. Minimize all electronics unless you are watching the Superbowl. There must be some kind of food and drink or the grown-ups will get cranky. Ask for help. I believe creating positive memories is crucial for our general well being.

My husband and I are now the family hosts for a Christmas party and the summer family barbeque. Over the years I have learned that you don’t have to look like a magazine photo to make people feel welcome. Plenty of food, some yard games and chairs in the shade will make everyone comfortable. We always ask a blessing before we eat because we hope to pass on that faith and family are the most important things in life as we gather around for food and fun.

faith, Family

Watching Grandma

by securelyanchored2 Comments on Watching Grandma
Watching Grandma

Did you have the privilege of knowing your grandparents well? I lived over a thousand miles away from my paternal grandparents. My maternal grandmother died when I was young so I don’t remember her well. One week out of the summer we packed into the family station wagon and made the long journey to Wisconsin to see my dads’ relatives. My parents drove in shifts to get there in less than 24 hours while we slept. They would be exhausted but we kids were ready to play. We were always made to feel special when we came.

I remember being in my grandmothers’ kitchen while on vacation. I sat on the kitchen chair as she began to measure the ingredients for a cake. Grandma didn’t use measuring cups all the time. She would scoop the flour with a regular coffee cup and used a cereal spoon to measure this and that. Somehow, she knew that it was just the right amount. She had a big mixing bowl with a standing mixer which I thought was pretty special. I watched as the mixer whirled the ingredients together and she let me taste the batter before we put the pan in the oven.

We always had dessert after dinner at Grandmas’. It might be some cake, pie, pudding or just a bowl of canned fruit. It would be no surprise to you that both of my grandparents were large people. Grandpa loved his sweets. He loved a slice of white bread with butter and honey on it for a snack which I thought was odd. A favorite cake of mine is Grandmas’ refrigerator cake. It is a variation of a “poke cake”. It is called that because you poke holes in the baked cake with a toothpick and then pour concentrated dissolved jello into the holes. It is one of the few family recipies that I have and I like to make it for our summer family reunion.

Long distance phone calls were expensive in the ’60s and ’70s so throughout the year we would receive cards and letters in her large cursive handwrriting. I still have a few letters she sent when I was in college and my aunt told me that my picture was in her bible when she died. She prayed regularly for all of us.

My grandparents raised six children through the Great Depression, a seventh child died at only a few days old. They made sure the other siblings didn’t forget Ruby. Through the years they suffered the same hardships as many others, such as a son serving in the Vietnam war and death of another daughter by car accident. But they loved God, attended church faithfully and trusted in His provision and faithfulness. Grandpa was a volunteer with The Gideons so the importance of Gods’ word was impressed upon my young heart and I saw Grandma reading her black leather bible at the dining room table and pause for prayer.

There were 25 grandchildren altogether so you can imagine how large the summer reunion picnic was. Grandma never learned to drive and they never owned their own house. But many people were recipients of her embroiderd handiwork on table scarves and pillow cases. When we came to visit I remember a lot of story telling and laughter coming from all the grown ups. They didn’t have much as far as the world would count but thay enjoyed the simple things of life and blessings money cannot buy.

For reflection:

I was blessed to also have a godly mother who read and prayed with us and served our local church in many ways. Many other women throughout my lifetime have taught me how to love my family, trust God in difficult circumstances and use my gifts and abilities for Him. Remember, “godly” doesn’t mean perfect but growing in grace. On this Mother’s Day weekend take a few moments to reflect on the godly role models you have known during your life. A grandmother, mother, aunt, neighbor or an older woman (women) in the church. Thank God for what they taught by their example and ask Him to help you pass it onto the next generation.