The Power of Words To Hurt or Heal

The words we use can wield great power to hurt and destroy or they can be encouraging and healing.  A familiar retort to words on the playground was, ” Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me – Call me this and call me that, but call yourself a dirty rat.”  It was an attempt at self preservation but the ryhme is untrue.  Words can hurt.  The words we were told in childhood can still burn our ears and hurt our hearts.  Condemning labels and offensive words can destroy our self esteem and motivation.  In contrast, positive and life giving words can build character and improve relationships.

WHEN WORDS HURT

The problem of bullying in the schools is often highlighted in the news but what about the words exchanged in the family, the office, the neighborhood and even in the church?   One woman I worked with had a very high opinion of herself and seemed to make efforts to put down others. She could easily reduce the new girl to tears.  It is really quite sad that our culture has made movies to glorify such bad behavior. 

Our words matter. When someone uses hurtful language intentionally or inadvertantly it can cut to the heart.  The damage is emotional, psychlogical and spiritual.  Types of hurtful language include deceit, gossip, lies, slander and name calling. The damage done by people’s words has been going on for millenia.

 

Jeremiah 9:8   Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully; with his mouth each speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he plans an ambush for him.

Proverbs 12:18    There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

 

Past wounds we need to give to The Father, maybe over and over. Present wounds we need to deal with and not let them fester.  We should evaluate the situation and the person the hurt came from. We need to honestly evaluate if there is any truth said and if we played a part in the exchange. God always desires reconciliation but sometimes that is not possible.  Holding forth the shield of faith to protect us from Satan’s arrows (Gal.6)  we can then set boundaries and move forward in confidence.

 

WORDS THAT HEAL

God’s Word is powerful.  He created the world by speaking it into existence. God knows your name and sees your wounds and when we come to Him he will give us a new heart and spirit.  He calls us His beloved.  Healing can take a long time from condemning words so we need to train our tongues to speak healing words.

 

Proverbs 16:24    Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:1     A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Colossians 4:6   Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Proverbs 15:28     The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.                           ie: think before you speak

1 Thessalonians 5:11   Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

 

 

 

FORGIVING HURTFUL WORDS

When others have hurt us by their choice of words God commands us to forgive.  If we don’t then our hearts and minds will turn bitter and bitterness can sour everything else we do.  Awhile ago, some well meaning Christian associates decided to point out “the splinter in my eye”, so to speak.  It was shared poorly and was very hurtful. Their words caused me great emotional and spiritual distress.  God’s Word helped me sort truth from exaggeration and move towards acceptance and forgiveness.  It was not an easy process but a necessary one for my soul. Family members can be the cruelest of all and I have experienced some of that also.  Understanding that they are not believers and do not walk in light and love helped put things into perspective … even though it still hurt.

 

Colossians 3:13    bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Matthew 5:24    leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:44    But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

 

Everyday our prayer should be:

Psalm 19:14    Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.